APRIL F*** Day

Disclaimer/Caveat:
I have raped the English grammar and tenses inside out. The intent is to make you laugh and not win a Nobel Prize in Literature.

Start:
Yeah so, the day started off pretty well. Serene, calm and placid as always :)

But I had little idea what the day had in store for me.
The writing was on the wall but I couldn't read that. THICKO, yeah that's my first name actually.
My friends (or should I say Bloody Fiends) had some plans for the day especially for me ... Holy Shit!!!
How could you do this man?
I feel like repudiating you all as my friends.

The Prelude:
So, we met over the lunch.
Jatin asked how about a movie today?
And to my surprise every muthafucker had the time.
Srivastava could manage time and so could Shalin, even though his fucking crappy site is down and the client has
put his foot down his manager's throat. But he has the time. WOW!!!

He seems unmoved. This is all he has to say
Mr. Shalin: " haan yaar aaj nikal sakta hoon, site up ho gayi hai. Kisi ne server ka switch off kar diya hoga".
beti.... majak hai kya???
Serve hai ke koi pankha??? Off kar diya hoga... WAH BAI !!!

Anyhow next comes in line Mr. Srivastava
One thing about this guy.... Fuckingly incoherent. Anything without any sense.
I have serious concerns whetehr he will be able to make it to next year because I think his
"Jhuppad" ( his Track Lead) will poison him in some team meeting and then dance over his dead body. And I
have heard very serious rumuors that Jhuppad is a Necrophile.
I have evidences to corroborate my statements
God save the Dead !!!

Sri too can come today. Amazing!!! Things are falling into places
and then I said I can't come because of monetary issues........

The Trap:
OH MY GOD !!!

It seemed as if I have abused Pope Benedict XVI's mother.
Jatin erupted like hell.
Mr. Jatin: "WHAT IS THIS MAN? SINCE WHEN MONEY BECAME AN ISSUE? WHY DO YOU DO
THIS EVERYTIME WE ALL MAKE SOME PLANS? It's BEEN A LONG TIME WE ALL HAD A HANG
OUT TOGETHER."

Already feeling enough guilty, I finally gave into
Mr. Victim (me): "Okay Okay, movie is on tonight."

and there is one more very beautiful thing to note here, look how courteous our
Mr. I-got-small-ears is , he offered to pay for my share(SCUM!!!)

See the audacity GOD... This filthy person owes me fucking 384/- bucks and has the guts to make me watch a
movie from my own money.
(Saale itna harami kaise hai tu bhai ??? )
I know he will never pay me back that money

Anyhow "ALL SET" is the word in Cafeteria(all in Unison) just to give way to next series of events.
This is the most deadly part

My fingers are trmebilng tpynig tihs stfuf.

The Main Part:


1725 Hrs

Mr. Victim pings Mr. Shalin Jain( he is away on his office communicator)
I thought may be he left for the buses 5 min early, but then I don't know hat happened (may be he forgot the plan)
he replies back.
But since he is a very smart ass and has been preparing for MBA exams since his childhood he knows how to
tackle such situations...
BORN MANAGER!!! HATS OFF DOOD!!!

he says: "yeah man about to leave. You also leave. See ya at the theater."
I checked with Jatin as well. same response- about to leave, see ya at the theater.

No idea whatsoever what is goin' to happen to me, that they gonna rip apart my ass into innumerable pieces.
I went home, picked up my bike and with a very smiling face left to become an April Fool all by myself.
Rode my bike like a madman( a thing which I always do :) actually)
near Mayapuri GOD played HIS part


Act Of GOD:

Bike got punctured... CRAP
and I was under the illusion GOD loved me
I really am a FOOL
But since I am not that bad, saw a shop nearby to get my bike fixed.
That was when I decided to call up
Jatin and say that I might get late but those kutta, kameen, harami log were in office, cherishing whatever left of their lives in an Air Conditioner and that was one moment I really felt bad.
KILL THEM ALL seemed to be the order of the day( See I am honest enough)

They made enough fool of me over a conference call and all I was thinking, unperturbed of their jokes was
WHY ME GOD WHY ME ???
(This was supposed to be the last line until Anshul pinged)

The Repercussions :
People have started laughing at my back now.
Anshul, Kashyap, Ashish, Amit, Rajdeep ( a guy I barely know) came laughing.
This is what he has to say
Rajdeep: "O Mehre, main suniya tera fuddu khichiya kise ne, yaar changa nahin hoyea?"
And I was like WTF !!! Who told ya all this man ?
and then he collapsed in front of me laughing and I had a chance to pee all over him ( BURN IN HELL!!!)

PS: All in all a great day in my life...
At least cleared some of the doubts Shalin ha about me.